World of Nadiah

Well, tomorrow is my exam day. Primary Care Medicine exam. I was preparing for it topic by topic. Hoping that I won't stuck tomorrow. When I reached my next topic : asthma, I grinned. Not because it's totally easy or because I know I won't get it as a case tomorrow, but because I remember me being an asthmatic patient. I was asthmatic! I repeat again, was... Actually I thought I was but now, I'm not sure. Oh, I want to tell the experience of being asthmatic.

I didn't know about my conditions until I was 12. At that time, I was walking to the school in the morning. The distance was about 50 meters. After about 5-10 meters of walking, I felt difficulty of breathing. I stopped and a minute or two, I felt fine. I continued walking. I think I stop for 3-4 times for that distance. Unfortunately, that day, we have physical lessons. So, we need to run for a round or two. I started to run and few seconds after that, I felt the tightness on my chest and soon after, I started coughing uncontrollably. My friends started to get around me when my cough didn't stop. They tried to call for my physical's teacher, but before he came to me, I started to stop coughing. That's my first experience of shortness of breath. I was thinking I would died at that time because I can't breath... I was told to have asthma after that by a doctor. Wth, I don't even know what's that. So, let it go...

About every year after that, I had mild exacerbation. I felt the chest tightness but I couldn't remember whether I got treatment or not. But, when I was 17, I got another exacerbation that I have difficulty to forget it. I had sore throat that morning in school. Really itchy with mild fever. But, nothing serious happened at school that morning. But, around 4-5 pm that evening, I started to develop serious shortness of breath. Even when I was sitting on the couch, I had difficulty of breathing. My chest felt tight. My mother was not around and my father was doing his garden work. I don't know what to do. I felt the difficulties and yet I can't do anything. I want to cry but I can't because if I cried, that will cause further difficulty of breathing. I can't even talk in full sentences. My mother came home around 6 pm. She just did the tepid sponging because I have fever at that time and then, she left me resting on the couch. I was complaining that I can't really breath to her few times. For the first and second times of complaining, I got her sympathy but when I continued complaining, my mother started to scold me. She said she can't do anything to help. She left me and continued doing her housework. But, she did come back for tepid sponging. After Maghrib, I can't stand anymore, I begged my parents to bring me to the clinic and finally my father brought me to one. There, I was given nebuliser and tablet medications. I also got an MC. After taking that tablets for few times, I felt fine the next two morning. Not the next morning, but the next morning after having MC for a day. I went to school that day. Actually starting the MC day, I already felt mild tremor and palpitations but when I went to school that day, it becoming more serious. I didn't say severe, I just said serious until it disturb my writing and also my classes. I can't concentrate in the class because of that. The worse thing was I don't know why it's happened. I'm afraid. But, that's was the last time in which I need many tablets of salbutamol. After that 17 year old incident, I only need sometime 1-2 tablets for the exacerbations and sometimes I didn't even care to take the medications because it was so mild and I know it will resolved by itself.

That's my experience. I was scared. My parents and me were not educated about my asthma and I was not told about the side effects of the drugs. And I was given tablets! High dose. Hmm, but, maybe at that time, inhaler use was not very popular. I didn't blame that but I was angry enough about the educations that we didn't get. I didn't blame my mother for scolding me when I complained I can't breath because she didn't even know what asthma can do to me.

Until now, I still will get the very mild exacerbation when I was exposed to dust. I got chest tightness and the feeling of uncomfortable breathing. But, not shortness of breathing. That's good enough for me. At least I don't have to take medications. XD